Why The So-Called '3-Act Structure' Should Carry a Mental Health Warning

So there I am, staring into this abyss right out of Dante's inferno. Or a huge gaping hole in the Earth's structure and a booming, terror-striking Voice behind me is screaming 'Jump! There's something like 60 miles between me and the place I've got to get to. But it's OK, the Voice says, you've made it this far. You've managed to get 30 miles here with no problem, and when you get you to the other side of that hole, it's a piece of piss. Home and dry because you've got the right directions to get you to the end of the journey. I have?

I look down, my heart beating like crazy into my parched mouth. Two fragile looking crutches suddenly land at my feet. The Voice, getting very tetchy now, is telling me to use the crutches, and I know for certain now this expedition is doomed. It is crazy. I must stick one crutch right where I'm standing now, to mark the end of the first leg of my journey, then 'all I have to do' is get through the next 60 miles and put the second crutch where I land.

I've even got a nice perfectly drawn diagram in my sweating palm. It's so simple. A horizontal line traversed by two vertical lines. What could be easier?  I've even managed to follow that funny little symbol when I'd travelled twenty five miles and changed direction.

But before I get to the other side of this gigantic chasm, now in my imagination, grown into the size of the universe, I'll have to make sure I stop at exactly the 85 mile point and change direction again.  The Voice says, 'Well, it could be at 90 miles'. Oh, right, thanks. Nice to know I'm allowed to use my own instincts, although I seem to have lost them.

Better go with the 85 mile option. Should I go left, or right, or...turn back? No, the Voice has told me this must be a linear journey (apart from the two directional changes) but even they have to be really in a straight line. But I'd like to loop back to where I started.  The Voice is screeching with pitying disdain now. Can a voice give a withering look and make you feel like a shrivelled worm? 'No-one but a fool would do that!'

OK, so here I am. Here. I've made it so far, only double what I've travelled so far and I can be over there.

Does anyone have a plane I could borrow? Second thoughts, don't bother. I'll stick to the day job.